Movies

I don’t watch a lot of t.v. shows on a regular basis I am more a fan of movies. I will give almost anything a chance, just usually not action movies. I love old horror films, and anything with a deep meaning or a sad plot. I like movies set in the sixties and seventies because everything back then seemed so much better.

The movie Stand By Me made me want to be on a journey with those boys. They all had their worries, but none of them shared them because sharing their feelings as a guy was thought of to be wrong. They all knew so much about each other, but knew to just pretend to see the outer shell. The traveled together and stood up for friends that they couldn’t live with out. Even though they all drifted apart, they still wouldn’t have friends like that again. Gordie said it himself.

The Breakfast club also opened my eyes and made me realize that the cliques in high school mean nothing. They just beat others down, because you never know how much in common you have with the person sitting right next to you.

The Sandlot was another one of my favorites because I am a fan of baseball and softball. I enjoyed seeing how the kids played all day every day and nobody was worrying about texting, because the only people they wanted to talk to were right there. Parents didn’t worry too much and everything was just about the love of the game and hanging with your friends.

These are some of my favorite movies.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

The people that know me understand that I have a slight obsession with this book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I always carry it with me. I treat it like my child, and I hate lending it to anyone. I don’t know what hooked me, but at the beginning of my freshman year I saw the book at Barnes and Noble and begged my mom for it because on the cover was Emma Watson, and I had a previous obsession in Harry Potter. My mom  eventually caved and I read the book in about two hours. I felt like Charlie was personally writing to me. I loved the characters. I loved Patrick, and his funny personality. I loved Sam, and how insecure she was. I loved how Charlie wanted to be a writer, just like myself. I loved the book, and still do. I have read it close to ten times. Everything that was put into that book was so well thought of and Charlies struggles feel real to me and I just wanted him to get better throughout the book even though I knew it was just a fictional story.

I think I may love this book so much because I long for friends like this. I really would love a friend to discuss books with all the time, like Charlie and Mr. Anderson. I want to have intellectual conversations about love and friendship. I want to have friends that hang out and love you unconditionally. An experience of falling in love like Sam and Charlie would be magical. Just the fight everyone in this story go through makes me want to move far far away from where I am and go back in time. Go back and time when thinks were simpler and writing on a typewriter was the way things were. I want to be a Wallflower, because being noticed isn’t as satisfying and having those friends and just observing.

Let’s go be psychos together.

That One Parent

My younger brother is an amazing wrestler. He has a skill that many kids would kill for. Hes a double-jointed, fast, keen wrestler and I love to watch him. It is the highlight of my year. I go to his practices because I love to watch the K-6 kids grow as wrestlers and watch the moves. Last year I was mortified by one of the parents that signed her children up.

The woman was very, very young. She walked in with nine children. Some screaming, some crying, and some that were sick and coughing. She said she wanted to sign up seven children to wrestle. She could pay for three now and four the next practice. The wrestling coach totally understood because he loves to get kids involved in sports and is glad to see new faces. The woman had her very young children, some younger than kindergarteners all run to the mat even though the girls didn’t want to. They all ran around screaming and shouting and taking drinks onto the mat. Still, it was good to see the couple older kids really enjoying themselves.

The woman had an infant that was sitting in a car-seat in the middle of the floor and also a toddler who was crying hysterically because he wanted to be on the mat with his siblings and was coughing violently. The woman sat on her Iphone 5s and put on her Beats tuned out her children.

The wrestling coach was trying to instruct the moves over her screaming toddler and was getting frustrated. She finally noticed that he was screaming so she took him to the car leaving her infant in the stroller on the floor and the other seven kids running around without a purpose. The woman came back with the boy who wasn’t crying ON A LEASH CARRYING A BOTTLE OF MOUNTAIN DEW. She put the leash on the bottom leg of her chair and the kid cried as she played on her phone. The baby sat there quietly the entire time.

The wrestling coach let it go on for a while. She never payed for any of the children and she didn’t take the kids to the meets. She never attended another practice and I feel bad for her kids who were enjoying themselves. Don’t be the parent that plays on their phone instead on taking care of  your sick child.

That First Kiss

Every teenage girl believes that her first kiss will be magical. It won’t be. I hate to burst your bubble, but it just might be the most agonizing and awkward few seconds of your life. Here’s just an example of what might happen.

You will get up hours before needed to begin getting ready. You will pick out four different outfits and end up wearing the first one anyways. You will do your hair and put on some cheap make up that you can hardly notice you even applied. You will sneak into the bathroom and steal a spray, or six of your mom’s overly expensive perfume. You will wait for your mom to get home and you will grab a ride to the county fair. When you get to the fair you will meet your boyfriend and his annoying, yet funny best friend. You three will awkwardly walk around ride to ride and all you will think about is the second you will get alone so you can have your first kiss. Finally, the best friend will walk away to get some chicken wings at the food cart. You and your boyfriend go on the ferris wheel. Around and around you go and he’s furiously texting his mother about his curfew. He will get angry when he realizes its really soon. He will turn and say “Let’s get this over with,” then kiss you. In that moment your hair will blow in his mouth and it will be awful. He will smell like cheap cologne and nervous sweat. You wont look at each other for the rest of the ride and you will see his best friend waving vividly while filling his face full of wings.

If your first kiss is terrible they have to get better, right?

Making it Okay

I was scared. All I wanted was for this teenager to love me back, but he didn’t. I was used and humiliated and all the friends I had made while dating him no longer wanted to be my friend. I just passed day by day motionless being sad and depressed. I know it was silly for a girl so young to be heart broken, but that’s what I was. Then I met a friend. He and I had hated each other for some silly reasons that neither of us even remember. He and I got along because we both mutually disliked a certain person in our English class. We were civil to her, but the entire class got annoyed by her long and tedious rants. When she would rant this guy and I would exchange this look that meant we would rather die than having to listen to her. He knew that since the break up I hadn’t been the same and he became, well… my best friend. He dates a very close friend of mine and they are probably the cutest couple on the planet. When they would have their hard time he would talk to me and I would try to help him out, sometimes it would help, others it wouldn’t. He and I talked about our problems and it was finally nice to have a friend that understood that I was upset and needed somebody to confide in. The next year he and I were still pretty good friends. We had a group six really close friends that hung out quite often and all understood each other. He got me through a very rough time in my life, and I honestly don’t know if I would still be here today if it wasn’t for him and those other few friends. When this guy reads this I hope that he will realize that he being my friend saved me. He talking to me about random movies and careers kept me out of a depression. I am now better and feeling great. I want to wish him the best and thank him and my friends for helping me and making me feel part of something again.

Some Girls

So as a normal teenage girl I go to slumber parties every once and awhile. I recently went to one that changed my perspective on some women. It was getting late so all of us girls ran to the bathroom to brush our teeth and wash our faces. A few years back I had really bad acne until I began to wash my fave with regular bar soap and quit using all the fancy oily products. At this slumber party I witnessed six other girls pull out bottle after bottle of face cleansing product. Some of the girls applied two, or even three separate products that swore to clean their face. I pulled out my regular bar soap and washed my face and was finished within a minute or so. All the girls looked at me funny. They said that that didn’t clean my face and I would get acne. I brushed it off and just left the bathroom. After a few minutes I went back into the bathroom to see all of the girls applying Elmer’s Glue, yogurt, honey, oatmeal, coffee grounds, toothpaste, rubbing alcohol, and basically anything that DOESN’T belong on your face. All of those girls swore that their personal remedy worked and they would be acne free. Not one of those girls actually used soap to wash their face. Sometimes, we forget that things don’t have to be as hard as we make them.

Awake

Have you ever wondered what happens when you don’t wake up? How long does your spirit linger by your body? What’s Heaven like and who will you see? What is the journey like on the way to Heaven, or hell in some cases? Will there be pain? Will there be laughter? Is it true that we will see everyone who we knew in life? What will it be like? Nobody can really answer this, but we can all imagine. We all will imagine what Heaven is like and think about how wonderful it is and how our spirit will be free. Until the day it happens. Until the day you don’t wake up and your spirit travels on.

Absorbing

Deep down she knows she’s hurting. Deep down she is struggling. She is fighting to be noticed in a world of people who claim to be better than her. She can’t handle the stress of being who she pretends to be. This isn’t her. This can’t be her. She’s better than this. Well, she had always thought of herself as better than this. So, she buys it. She goes down town and buys anything expensive. She doesn’t necessarily like it, but it doesn’t matter. The image she is expected to uphold is fading. So, she buys. Shoes, purses, clothes, and anything that makes others jealous. When will she stop? Stop pretending to be the woman who she isn’t. She can’t though. It’s been so long since she has been real. She can’t even remember the last time. So, she buys and buys. The debt piles up, but the image stays the same. Outside she’s fabulous. Inside she’s drowning. Being absorbed by a woman she isn’t.

The Last Entry

Dear Diary,

Do I dare take another day and waste it? Why allow myself to waste the air, while others can do so much better? Every day is a struggle and I don’t belong here. I am nobody. I cannot allow myself to carry on pretending to be okay. I tell those who are close to me that everything’s alright. They know it isn’t, as do I. They can’t help me any longer. I am at the point of no return. This, my friend, will be my last entry. I will waste the time of my teachers, my family, and those around me no more. Goodbye to those who care. Be free and Carry on.

Love Always,

                            Nobody

Sitting There

There she is. She does the same thing every day. She sits there. She doesn’t talk to anyone, she isn’t noticed by anyone, and that’s all she wants. I can feel it. If somebody would just go and talk to her and tell her it’s okay. If somebody would just reach out. Why don’t I reach out? Why don’t I just go and talk to her?  What about my image? What will people think? I shouldn’t care though. Maybe, I will just say a few words. All eyes on me. A snicker. Death stares from the girls behind. Her head lifts. She smiles. I can do it. I can help her. I can notice her. But I don’t. I walk away. I snicker. I feel worthless. I feel her pain. I do nothing. I am nothing. All for an image that I don’t want. And she sits there.